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Valkyrie: Man of two visions

20/07/10 || Altmer

Holy shit, the first intro riff on the album is Black Sabbath, basically! In fact, I’d pinpoint this shit straight out of the late 70s. Influences: Black Sabbath, Motörhead and friends. Maybe some Mastodon when you think about it, in the groove. The soloing is nicked from Iommi dear. But unfortunately it’s a new album and it features a dude from Baroness (that is, the sludge metal band). Old school is not necessarily all that cool, and this is another case of “sigh, we’ve been here before”.

I just wish that any and all bands that still play this old style nowadays get a sound all their own and don’t try to be that middle ground between Sabbath and Maiden. This is not bad at all, quite the contrary. But there’s no point in trying to play the same riffs that the old boys already played on “Paranoid” or “Ace of Spades” all over again because that’s what these old records are for. If the vocalist wasn’t better in every way than either of the respective band’s vocalists technically (whether he fits the music is another matter), this wouldn’t even be worth listening to over any of those other bands.

But the vocalist that does the majority is pretty good, as I mentioned. He has a nice, slightly high-pitched voice with a tiny drawl in it, not enough to piss anybody off but audible enough to notice. The thing is, I’m not so sure this fits the music, dirty as it is. Ozzy’s spaced out delivery or Lemmy’s gruffness may not have as much ability, but they have character and this guy’s vocals are pretty anonymous. Not bad, just anonymous. If I put this on, I won’t be able to recognize the vocalist instantly – and I would for Sabbath or Motörhead. Also he is slightly too innocuous tone-wise; too clean, too innocent. I need a bit more gravel in the voice for this kind of music.

Track three, “Green Highlander” (wtf?) is an instrumental for whatever reason there may be and like “Rat Salad” on Paranoid it is one of those songs that may be good for the instrumentalists to get some time but it is also a prime recipient of skip button antics. I don’t get these kind of pointless instrumental wankeries and this is another song that needs to be worked into a track and not exist separately. Hideous. We move on to more Sabbath/Motörhead inspired material afterwards and it’s, err, tame to say the least. Not bad, just tame, although I have to give credit to the guy doing the guitar solos because he knows his shit inside out. Classic metal solos appeal to me (the riffs always sound too weak for my ears) and this guy knows how to fucken do it, so kudos to him.

There are some weird country (I know, right) style guitars on track 6 that make me go “ehhh” and ask myself what it’s doing on this album. This album reminds me of deserts with whiskey. I guess that is kinda cool if you like driving down the highway interstates in your cab in Arizona. In fact this is probably metal made for that kind of thing. This song is instrumental too by the way and I don’t get why this band keeps making interlude songs with acoustic guitars and soloing because honestly I have something more interesting to listen to.

The last thing is that the cover art for this album is fucken hideous deluxe and should be redone right now because I really can’t take a band seriously with a COLOUR OVERLOAD like that. I know it’s old-school and cartoony but I really do not like that style and with the hideous purple flying all around (and what to think of that logo, lol) it is really a pain to the eyes. I won’t be buying this album for the cover art, that’s for sure. Also, upon my googling information I came upon several other Valkyrie metal monikers. Originality is not this band’s strong suit.

In short, buy this album if you have a gigantic hard on for Black Sabbath and love classic guitar solos. If not, you can safely skip this one and go about your business because that is the sole attraction it holds to the ears of this, lost and confused, idiot.

Recommendation: Get yer own sound, bastards, and stop ripping off the good old classics. And keep the solos.

Information
Released: 2008
Label: Noble Origins/Kreation Records
Website: www.thevalkyrierides.com
Band
Jake Adams: vocals, guitars
Pete Adams: guitars, vocals
Will Barry-Rec: bass
Warren Hawkins: drums

Tracklist
01. Running Out
02. Dawntide’s Breeze
03. Green Highlander
04. Apocalypse Unsealed
05. False Dreams
06. The Gorge
07. Man of Two Visions

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